I wasted the first years of my life being dragged around by my miserable mother. Which, even though a fact, I love her very much. The last couple of years I started to realize that shit is not what it seems. Now I must start to process the whole thing and try to begin to structure the life I desire to live. In the middle of this process, I passed down some of my genetics and now I have an offspring. I want more, I need more, I’m a human with self-interest and selfishness embedded in my DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid). What is stopping me from rising to better levels in life?
One obvious challenge in front of me is the system I live in, built to make sure I stay below it. I want to climb up, but I must defy the odds. I have some experience in defying odds, but it seems that defying the odds to control my time and income, is the most important one of all the odds I must defy in life. It also seems that taking control of my time and income is the key to a better life because, in the process I will learn and build character allowing myself to survive on this new level. This is one of the many keys to a better life I will make sure I teach my child.
The scariest part of this process is the simple fact that I’m not owed anything. There is no meant to be. People are supposed to doubt me and question me. You don’t need to read this, even if you do, why should you care? “To each their own” fuck you and fuck me. This is the reality and the truth I must live in. Each individual has to find their way. Each individual really just wants to do what they want, when they want and how they want. Put all these miserable individuals in the same room and what do you get? You get a work environment, you get a corporate building: A place where people are forced to be phony and fake to each other for the sake of their pay checks. Obviously, the whatever it takes attitude is the most probable attitude I as a person must have to survive in this system. Before, I write myself away from the point, time is all I have.
I look up and what do I see? The past is what I see. I see the time I once had, but did not use correctly. I can only keep moving forward the time frame. I continue trying to buy more and more of the time I have in this life, but it seems it’s coming to an end, or at least, for now. I don’t know anything and definitely don’t know everything. I may as well be a baby again. I know the answer to my misery is the art and science of creation. The answer can be right in front me, but it may as well be a million miles away. I’m not the first and definitely won’t be the last, but damn, I see that as a human, my complexity does not stop with my physiology or anatomy. This is deep, much deeper than I thought, but I guess I must keep digging for my answer.